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Bespoke Poetry

Poems for birthdays, weddings, anniversaries, and any other occasion you want to mark with a big belly-laugh.


I turn your sentiments into funny, original poetry for when you want something different to mark an occasion.


I can write short poems (minimum 8 lines) for people who can never think of what to write in a special card, or full-on epics containing amusing anecdotes about the bride and groom to be to be read out at weddings ...


And who says funerals are just about sadness? I can put memories and stories about your loved one into a poem to raise a smile and help everyone remember.

Thanks for submitting, I will be in touch!

How does it work?

How do I order a poem?

Step 1. Choose the number of lines. Poems start at £40 for 8 lines. This includes time taken finding out the information I need from you as well as the writing process.


Step 2. Message me using the contact form on this page to give me basic details of your occasion/event.


Step 3. I’ll email you back, ask you relevant questions, and after sorting out the payment terms, we’ll get cracking on the poem.

What details would I need?

For example, for a poem for your friend’s birthday, I’d need info about some likes and dislikes, funny idiosyncratic habits, and maybe relevant anecdotes.

How long does it take?

A week or so for a shorter poem – longer for longer. If you’re in a hurry, I’ll do what I can.  

How much will it cost?

It's very simple: each line will cost £5, so a 16 line poem, perhaps split into 4 verses, would cost £80. Payment will be invoiced and made via bank transfer or PayPal.

In what format do I get my poem?

I will send you a text file for you to print in your preferred format. If you would like a different format please ask.

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