In what format do I get my poem?

How long does it take?

What details would I need?

How do I order a poem?

What is Bespoke Poetry? 


Poems for birthdays, weddings, anniversaries, and any other occasion you want to mark with a big belly-laugh.


I turn your sentiments into funny, original poetry for when you want something different to mark an occasion.


I can write short poems (minimum 8 lines) for people who can never think of what to write in a special card, or full-on epics containing amusing anecdotes about the bride and groom to be to be read out at weddings ...


And who says funerals are just about sadness? I can put memories and stories about your loved one into a poem to raise a smile and help everyone remember.

Step 1. Choose the number of lines. Poems start at £20 for 8 lines. This includes time taken finding out the information I need from you as well as the writing process.


Step 2. Commission the poem here.


Step 3. Email me to give me basic details of your occasion/event.


Step 4. I’ll email you back, ask you relevant questions, and we’ll get cracking on the poem.

For example, for a poem for your friend’s birthday, I’d need info about some likes and dislikes, funny idiosyncratic habits, and maybe relevant anecdotes.

A week or so for a shorter poem – longer for longer. If you’re in a hurry, I’ll do what I can.  

I will send you a text file for you to print in your preferred format. If you would like a different format please ask.

Poem Review 7
Poem Review 7

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Poem Review 7
Poem Review 7

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How much will it cost?

It's very simple: each line will cost £2.50, so a 16 line poem, perhaps split into 4 verses, would cost £40. On the payment page, please select the agreed number of lines, and the price will be calculated automatically for you. If you are commissioning more than one poem, there's a quantity box, too. 

To see more or discuss possible work let's talk >>