In what format do I get my poem?
How long does it take?
What details would I need?
How do I order a poem?
What is Bespoke Poetry?
Poems for birthdays, weddings, anniversaries, and any other occasion you want to mark with a big belly-laugh.
I turn your sentiments into funny, original poetry for when you want something different to mark an occasion.
I can do four-liners for people who can never think of what to write in a special card, or full-on poems to be read out at weddings containing amusing anecdotes about the bride and groom …
And who says funerals are just about sadness? I can put memories and stories about your loved one into a poem to raise a smile and help everyone remember.
Step 1. Choose the number of lines (minimum 4). Poems start at £20 for 8 lines. This includes time taken finding out the information I need from you as well as the writing process.
Step 2. Commission the poem here.
Step 3. Email me to give me basic details of your occasion/event.
Step 4. I’ll email you back, ask you relevant questions, and we’ll get cracking on the poem.
For example, for a poem for your friend’s birthday, I’d need info about some likes and dislikes, funny idiosyncratic habits, and maybe relevant anecdotes.
A week or so for a shorter poem – longer for longer. If you’re in a hurry, I’ll do what I can.
I will send you a text file for you to print in your preferred format. If you would like a different format please ask.
How much will it cost?
It's very simple: each line will cost £2.50, so a 16 line poem, perhaps split into 4 verses, would cost £40. On the payment page, please select the agreed number of lines, and the price will be calculated automatically for you. If you are commissioning more than one poem, there's a quantity box, too.